A week of holidays cos they are having their OP. Then 16th Nov will come and that would be one of the scariest day of my life, yet. Fcking scared to the max. I want all the pegasus to do well. I want everyone to go up tgt! But that will not happen. Let's just wait till 16th Nov. Till then, am gonna enjoy myself till it last! Thats what Mr S said to all of us as well. It kills me to realise that the teachers actually know our results but must wait till the 16th to tell us. Why?

Anyway, my body clock is officially screwed. Sleeping in the wee hours of the morning. Waking up in the afternoons. Late nights are so nice. I cannot wait to meet up with the jc kiddoz when they finish their As. I fcking miss you allllllll so much. ): Realised that when I sent all of em good luck msgs, I miss em so much! Especially my ohgoshitsus! Oh damn, I miss you all so damn much cannot wait for you ppl to be free. Suemaz, Mingyang, Bryan, Rachel, Steph, Shimin, Jason, Nahin & Ainul! Ainul!! Wth are you?! Argh

Decided to pour everything out now. Everything is so overwhelming. Listening to Details In The Fabric. This song describes me so much, now. I remembered listening to this around this time of the yr also - after getting my overall results, realising I retained. This song totally was on repeat the whole week or two. Keep telling myself, "Everything will be fine, everything in no time at all". No one had any idea about this. Swear, the song pulled me through the bad times last year.
..
Everything is damn overwhelming now. News after news after news. Not good ones. I thought I could/can do something but you know in the end, it's always not appreciated or not expected by the other. Hurt by everything that is going on now. The fact that so many people are giving up, giving in & not staying strong. The fact that my friends are going through the toughest of times but I cannot be there for them - because I am not suppose to know. The fact that I know I can do something but the other just being so mad knowing that I know about it. Everything's bottled up. I wanna tell you so many things, I wanna encourage you so much, I wanna console you so badly. BUT WHAT'S THE POINT? You decided not to tell me, you already made your decision, you just refuse to listen. For so long I've tried. I didn't give up encouraging you, I never gave up on you. Yeap, never. But you failed me. You gave up on yourself. I know you're hurting inside, but you make it sound everything's okay. It hurts, I know.


Calm down,
Deep breaths